Coaching Youth Sports - Tips for Well Intentioned Dads

Well Dad you have volunteered/been nominated to coach your child's baseball team. You are excited about it but have no idea just what coaching youth sports entails. Don't worry, you are not alone. There is a lot to it, but with proper planning and expectations you should be fine. Here are some things I have learned in twenty years as a player and another twenty years as a youth coach.

1. First and foremost remember that these are kids, not professional athletes. They play sports to have fun! While some of them may dream about becoming a pro, sadly, most of them will drop out of sports when they hit their teen years. Your responsibility is to help them enjoy their youth right now and learn enough to move up to another level of play.

2. Do not forget the parents! Keep them informed and involved. Let them know what you expect from them and what they can expect from you. Punctuality is very important. It's hard to play if the kids aren't there. Ask them for help with practice, but be sure they understand that their assistance does not make them one of the team coaches. Kids are very much aware of their parents' presence during a game, so it is a good idea to ask Mom and Dad to keep their tempers in check and not yell at officials. As adults, you and they are to be good role models. I have had to remind a couple of fathers that they were there to support their children, not act like them.

3. At your first meeting with the parents and players inform them you will not be coaching winning or losing! The kids already understand those concepts, and quite frankly they are not really all that concerned about them. Sure they want to win, but you will find that five minutes after a loss they will be playing a game of cup-ball or pickle with kids from the team that just beat them 10 - 0, and they will be having a ball!

4. Your primary responsibility in coaching youth sports is to prepare your players for the next level. The bulk of your teaching will be to help them learn the proper mechanics to develop the skills it takes to play the game. I coached an AAU baseball team of fourteen year olds. Of the forty boys that came to tryouts, less than nine had been taught to throw properly. If you do not know the mechanics yourself, you can find a plethora of websites that will teach you what you need to know. Look for sites that talk about the power triangle of hitting and throwing. Avoid sites that teach about pushing off with the back foot, unless you want a team of players with sore elbows. Also, some of the parents may be knowledgeable of good fundamental skills. Don't be afraid to ask for help.

5. Be fair to all of your players. You cannot show preferential treatment. Some kids will develop faster than others and perform better, but you must not treat them better. By all means, compliment them on their performance, but you should also compliment any other player for his efforts and successes, regardless of how small that success might be. I once had a player who always struck out. One game he grounded out to the second baseman. I praised him for making contact with the ball, and recommended to his parents that he deserved an ice cream cone.

This is far from being a complete list of things to know about coaching youth sports, but it should give you an idea of how and where to start. With a little bit of work and a whole lot of enthusiasm you should do well. Enjoy the experience, and above all, have fun with the kids!

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Homeschooling Tip - Include Life Skills in the Curriculum

If you are a homeschooling parent designing a curriculum for your children, please remember to include life skills as one of their courses. I have met some brilliant individuals with multiple college degrees that did not know how to cook or do laundry. They could solve very complex mathematical problems, but did not know how to prepare a household budget. You do want your children to be prepared for living on their own, don't you? Here is a list of some of the things they should know and be able to do. Some of these are mental skills, and some are physical.

1. Taking responsibility. I put this first because it is one of the least taught ideas in the world. Far too many people have never learned the concept that their actions will always have consequences, whether good or bad. They readily accept the good, but when smacked in the face by bad consequences, they start making excuses which is basically blaming someone else. People who cannot take responsibility for themselves seldom develop the self-discipline it takes to live a stable life. Quite often they wind up living fearful and resentful lives.

2. Doing difficult things. This ties in with taking responsibility, but is somewhat different. It involves teaching your children to step out of their comfort zones to learn something new. As a society we place higher expectations on our babies than our teenagers. We expect them to learn how to crawl, walk, talk, use eating utensils, and use a toilet. What do we expect from our teens? Sadly, not much. I have found that when we do place high expectations on teens, they will rise to the challenge. If they do not know how to do something, but also know that you expect them to do it anyway, they will take that step needed to learn how to get the job done. This also teaches them how to earn respect and to develop self-esteem.

3. Cleanliness.This is basic. Start with making their beds every morning and putting their toys away when they are done playing with them. Insist that they put dirty clothes in the hamper - not on the floor. As they grow include them in the housework. They can dust and vacuum just as well as you. Do not allow them to dirty a dish or glass and just leave it on the counter until after dinner. It takes very little time to rinse it and put it in the dishwasher, or better yet, wash it and put it in the cupboard. Cleanliness should be a habit, but it won't be if you do not insist on it.

4. Cooking. I think this is self-explanatory. We included this in 5th grade history. We required our kids to make a Thanksgiving dinner. My wife sat at the table and gave instructions, but they had to do the actual preparation and cooking. My son is now 25 and does the lion's share of the cooking at his house. His wife is not complaining. My daughter doesn't really like to cook, but she can, and that is what we were striving to achieve.

5. Laundry. How many times have you seen college kids bring a duffel bag full of dirty clothes home for Mom to wash? This happens entirely too often, and there is no excuse for it. Please each your children how to do their own laundry. An 18 year old is an adult and should be able to handle a simple task like washing clothes. Have you ever taken a load of clothes out of the machine and found a button lying in the bottom of the washer? Well, they also need to learn how to sew one of those back on the shirt from which it fell.

6. Car Maintenance. I am not talking about being a mechanic. Any person who drives a car should know how to check the air pressure in the tires and change a flat one. They need to know how to check the oil and how often to have it changed. This applies to girls as well as boys. Routine maintenance on their cars should not be left up to Dad.

7. Finances. Money, geld, the long green - whatever you want to call it, your children need to know how to do more than just spend it. Make this a part of their math classes. Teach them how to balance a check book. Explain to them how your family budget works. Where does the money come from, and how is it being spent. Is there a savings plan and an emergency fund. How do credit cards work? How are they different from bank loans? Don't forget about all of the different types of insurance. What kind will they need, and what type to avoid. Lastly, let them know that taxes are inevitable and not likely to go away. This is a good time to teach them about buying what they need, and not necessarily what the want. Maybe they will decide they don't really have to have designer clothes afterall.

There are so many life skills that we learn during our lives, and we don't even realize we are learning them. By incorporating some of these into your homeschooling curriculum, you will be ensuring that your children will be more prepared to leave home than many of their peers. They will thank you for it. My kids do.

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Homeschooling Tip - Establish Goals

Before you actually begin homeschooling your children, you need to establish some goals. These will be long range goals. I like to save short term goals until after I have a better idea of my child's interests. What do you want your children's lives to be like. The most obvious goal will be academic. As a parent, however, you should also set goals concerning their relationships and their life skills.

Academic long term goals should concern skills. Of course reading, writing, and arithmetic are core skills to be mastered, but please do not forget learning how to learn, critical thinking, analysis, reasoning, and forensics (the art or study of argumentation and debate). Unless a student in public school is taking advanced placement classes, he is not even being exposed to these concepts, let alone receiving instruction in them. Teach your children to read between the lines and ask questions like the following:

• What is the author's background?
• Where did he get his information?
• Who funded that research?
• Why is this information important?
• For whom was this written?

Having proficiency in these areas will serve your children well. It is far less likely that they will be as gullible as the general populace. They will be able to make wise decisions. As they are growing and learning, they will start to display preferences for different subjects. When you observe that happening, you can set shorter term goals for their advancement in those courses.

Goals for relationships are varied and can encompass spirituality, intra-personal, inter-personal, and the environment. I'm sure you can probably think of others, or you may want to skip some of these. For spirituality, you will want them to know your beliefs and why you believe what you do. Ultimately, they will choose as they please, but you will have done your part to give them a good foundation. Intra-personal refers to how they feel about themselves. Are they at peace within their own minds? Inter-personal is how well they relate to others. Are they able to show respect for the people around them without allowing themselves to be walked on? Are they helpful and courteous? Do they display good manners? As for their environmental relationship, are they good stewards of our natural resources. Can they appreciate the beauty of the world around them?

We cannot omit life skills. It seems that I meet young adults on a daily basis who do not know how to cook, sew on a button, or balance their checkbooks. How can one manage a budget if he can't balance his checking account? Everyone should be proficient in these skills. They should also understand good grooming, housekeeping, and car care. It is not a bad idea for you to include some type of lifesaving training in your children's skill sets.

I hope you can see the value of setting these goals. You will have your own ideas, I'm sure. My purpose here is to make you aware of the process. You might even want to have your children help with the goal setting. They could surprise you.

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Homeschooling Tip - Be Flexible

One of the greatest advantages of homeschooling your children is the freedom you have to try different things. However, sometimes new homeschoolers are too rigid, and they attempt to operate as if they were in a regular school system. I urge you to take advantage of this freedom and be flexible. Here are three areas to experiment with: time, setting, and what I like to call basics plus.

Since you are teaching from home, you have every day for an entire year to have school. You are not restricted to a set time Monday through Friday for thirty-six weeks. Your state can tell you that your children have to be in school a certain number of days each year, but they cannot tell which days those are. If, like me, you live in the South and want the kids to experience New England in the fall, you can schedule a vacation for October in Vermont. Not only will it be enjoyable for all of you, but it will also be educational. The time of day for schooling can also be varied. Have you ever tried to schedule a doctor appointment for a time when school was not in session? You can now! How about that borderline ADHD seven-year- old who cannot sit still for long hours? Take a break and go to the park for an hour. We did with our son. Use your time in ways that suit your family's needs and desires.

Another area where you have great flexibility is in your setting. School does not always have to be around the dining room table. Field trips are fun and give your children ample opportunity to learn something new. You don't even have to leave home. You can teach a class in your backyard. It is an excellent setting for a nature class. If you have a garden, it's even better. They can help you with planting and weeding. Learning how to work is something worthwhile. Just use your imagination. I am sure that you can think of hundreds of ideas for helping your children learn without spending all of your time in a formal setting.

We all know that we have to teach our kids the basic core classes, like reading, grammar, math, history, and science. The advantage of being a homeschooler is that you can teach so much more than just the basics. Schools are not allowed to teach morality, but you are. They don't have the time or money to teach life skills. You can let your children sit with you and watch you pay the bills while you teach them about fiscal responsibility. One of my children's history lessons required them to cook an entire Thanksgiving dinner. That was during fourth grade for my son and sixth grade for my daughter. That brings up another point of flexibility: no two kids are exactly alike. You can teach them at their own pace. When my son, Seamus, finished his lessons, he always said, "I'm done. Can I go play?" Little sis, Jenna, asked, "Can I go on?" Consequently, she did the first four grades in two years. She isn't any smarter than her brother, but she had a different attitude towards learning. It also helped that she was allowed to play quietly in the same room where he was being taught. She could read and write at the age of three because she was listening and watching us teach him. Once a child learns to read and write, your teaching time is freed up to explore other subjects.

You have a wonderful and exciting opportunity to do so much more for your children with homeschooling. Do not be afraid to take chances. Be flexible with your time. Change your classroom settings. And by all means, add topics to your children's curriculum. They will be better off for it.

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Homeschooling Tip - Know Your Child's Learning Style

If you want to be an effective homeschooler, you must know your child's learning style. What is her preferred method for grasping information? Most people use a combination of styles, but have a decided predilection for one.There are three basic learning styles: auditory, visual, and kinesthetic or physical. Adjusting your style of teaching to her style of learning will greatly enhance the homeschooling experience for both of you. So, let's explore these styles.

An auditory learner is one who learns best by hearing. She does well in a lecture class or by listening to audio books. It is not unusual to hear her repeating something out loud when she is trying to memorize the information. This type of learner is usually good at linguistics. She picks up foreign languages easily, and when speaking with people who have accents, she may subconsciously begin speaking with that accent. My wife has to warn our foreign friends that my daughter and I are not trying to mimic them. We can't help ourselves. Some auditory learners insist on having music in the background while they are studying. It helps them focus. Ironically, others demand complete quiet. Any sound that does not pertain to what they are studying is a distraction. Does your child frequently break out in song? Does she make up a melody in order to memorize a poem? When the light bulb turns on in her head, does she say, "I hear what you mean."? If so, she is probably an auditory learner.

A visual leaner is easier to recognize. She prefers reading over being read to. You will often find her drawing or coloring. List making and doodling are common pastimes. It will take her awhile to understand a lecture, so putting an outline or notes on the board would be a great help to her. Try to avoid oral testing. She will do better with writing essays or drawing maps. She will be a meticulous note taker. Her notes will be complete with underlining, color coding, charts, and diagrams. Do not be surprised when you discover her fashion consciousness. This applies to boys, too. If you have more than one child, the quiet one is more likely to be a visual learner. Her light bulb response would be, "I see where you are coming from."

Kinesthetic learning, or learning by doing, is the most prominent style found in young children. This is due in part to their lack of development. As your children grow, the one that cannot sit still is the kinesthetic learner. She has to experience things, and will be bored to death by lectures. She will be your athletic child, always on the go. Spelling and handwriting - forget about it. Give her a nice lab course any day. She will prefer adventure books and movies over the classics. Having her build a diorama depicting a scene from a book will benefit her more that writing a book report. Field trips are one of your best tools for teaching your kinesthetic learner. Most importantly, allow her to move around, and give her breaks throughout the day. With our son, we would occasionally stop lessons and go to the park for an hour to let him burn off some of his neverending energy. Light bulb moment: "I'm getting a handle on this subject."

It is easy to see the usefulness of adapting your teaching to the child's style of learning. To not do so would result in a long, difficult, and frustrating school year. You will actually find it refreshing to be able to use different teaching methods for each of your children. It will eliminate monotony. Have fun, and enjoy your kids!

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Homeschooling Tip - Do Your Research

Before you begin homeschooling your children, there is one very important step to take. You must do your research. I recommend three critical areas that you need to examine: your state's homeschooling laws, the curriculum you are going to use, and the amount of expenditure you can afford.

Every state has its own laws for homeschooling. Some are fairly lenient, while others can be rather restrictive. All of them have established rules concerning compulsory ages, required number of days for attendance, required subjects, teacher qualifications, and standardized testing or evaluations. Here in Florida, for example, I don't have to be a certified teacher to homeschool K-12, but my friend in Tennessee had to stop homeschooling after the 8th grade because the state required certification to teach high school. While Florida technically does not have any required subjects, we did discover that they wanted every student to take a course in the history of Florida. When it comes to standardized testing or evaluations, we have several options here. We found a certified teacher who works strictly with homeschoolers. She does an evaluation half way through the school year, and administers the Stanford Achievement Test at the end of the school year. You can discover your state's laws at the website of the Home School Legal Defense Association.

Most of your research will be concerned with choosing a curriculum. You are going to want one that fits your family's needs and your lifestyle, but it must also fit your child's learning style. Talk to other homeschoolers in your area to find out what they are using. Go to homeschool curriculum fairs to see the many different varieties that are available. Look online to get descriptions of the different curricula. I suggest you check out both traditional and non-traditional courses. My wife and I used a mostly traditional approach, however, we often added to it. For example: when we discovered that our son had a particularly strong interest in the history of WWII, we backed off from teaching and switched to un-schooling, a method of student led education. This allowed him to pursue the subject to his heart's content. Our only involvement was to lead him to new sources of information.

In your research, you may have some sticker shock. Homeschooling can get very expensive if you let it, but that does not have to be the case. You will have to decide what you can afford and what you are willing to spend. If you need to cut costs, I have some suggestions. Make use of your local library whenever possible. Go online to look for sites that carry discounted homeschool books or used books. There are also sites that offer free homeschool resources. Let your child help in this search. You will be giving him a lesson in fiscal responsibility. He may need that later on in life.

As you can see, there is a little bit of homework involved, but if you do your research, everything should be fine.Please do not try to bypass this step. Remember, you do not want the state coming after you, the wrong curriculum could delay your child's progress, and you could easily put your budget in the red. A little well spent time now will save you from a lot of headaches later. Happy homeschooling!

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Homeschool Tip: Relax - You Made the Right Decision

When you are just beginning to homeschool you are probably going to be a little nervous. You might know why you have made the decision, but then doubt creeps in, and you start to second guess yourself. Well, I am here to tell you to relax because you have made the right decision!

Listen while I explain to you about the three "nobodies" and your child. First, nobody cares about your child as much as you. Second, nobody knows as much about your child as you. Finally, nobody will give your child as much attention as you. As a parent, you want what is best for your child. No matter how good your school district is, they have to tailor their programs for the majority of the children. With somewhere between twenty and forty students in a class, that does not leave a teacher much time to focus on your child, regardless of how good that teacher may be. Are you beginning to feel somewhat less anxious?

Here is some more good news.You are in control. You get to pick the curriculum, which means you can decide whether or not to keep subjects like music and art which are being dropped for financial reasons in many public schools. Keeping your family values intact will not be a problem either. Isn't it nice to know that you can include lessons in morality? A teacher in the public school system could lose their job for doing that! If your child has a special interest in a particular subject, you can grant him extra time to explore it further. You are not locked into a specific time frame. Is this sounding better all the time? Wait, there's more.

There is also the "fun factor" for both you and your child. Do you remember the joy you felt the first time he rolled over as a baby, his first word, or when he took his first step? I promise you will feel that same kind of joy when he learns to read. You will be thrilled when he learns to express his thoughts and ideas on paper. You are also going to be happy with yourself knowing that you are the one that helped him get to that point. I did say the fun factor for you and your child. I have never met anyone who was not happy about learning something new, and I never met a child who did not enjoy spending extra time with a loving parent. In my own case, I had a career that kept me extremely busy. One day I woke up and realized that my children were growing too fast, and I was missing out on it. I chose to tender my resignation to be able to help with their schooling and spend more time with them. What a tremendous decision that turned out to be! Today we have a very close relationship, and neither of my kids is afraid to come to me with a problem. Mind you, we taught them to think for themselves, and they do not always take my advice, but they like that I give them different ideas about courses of action for them to take. I think that you will find a similar closeness with your child. What could be more fun than that?

As I said before, you have made the right decision. This is your child, and you want only the best for him. So relax, have some fun, enjoy your time together, and be prepared for the time of your life. Who knows, you might even find that your child isn't the only one getting an education.

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